Early Days on Sankirtan
When I first tried to sell straight books I was horrible at it. I did not know what to say and I did not even believe the sound of my own words! I was a new devotee. I was only trying because I had some push from the temple authorities. I certainly liked Bhagavad-Gita but I could not preach.
After so many bad days I finally cracked and just sat down on a seat in the airport and cried my eyes out. There was a service man near by and he stopped and said, "What's the matter, Mam, can I help?"
I mumbled to him that I was supposed to be selling these books but no one bought them. He said, "Well, I might buy one," I still felt like crying but I squeeked, "But…you don't know what it is about! There is Krsna, and this is Arjuna, and they are talking on a battlefield and this is a classic literature…" I was so stuck on saying lines, not really trying to relate them to whoever I was talking to.
It was clear he felt sorry for me. He gave $20 and took the Bhagavad-Gita. I was startled by his kindness toward me.
That was one of my very first sales and I still remember it so well because it embarrassed me so much. After that I had to seriously consider how impersonal and proud I am and how it prevents me from really caring for people. Krsna had arranged to show me this through a nondevotee. Sankirtana is the mirror.
Your Servant,
Karuna Dharini Devi Dasi
